Thursday, November 12, 2009

Villainous ramblings of the frustrated/irritated kind.

“dosto ko bhulna tumhara style hain ya shoke”


Thanks to the marvels of technology, today we have social networking sites (Orkut, Facebook, Hi5, Names Database etc. etc.). It’s a boon.

But there’s a catch – for blokes who like to sieve the people they want to keep in touch with (read ME), it’s a little tricky and sticky.

I know I know, all I have to do is not accept the friend requests. But then, it’s like a social obligation.

Who knows when I might need someone to help me out. It’s good to be diplomatic and neutral. That’s probably more selfish than diplomatic. Actually, it’s neither here nor there. It’s grey. Heh.

Ok, so coming back to what I was saying, thanks to Orkut and Facebook, I have supposedly “reconnected” to the many classmates who I have not met for almost a decade now.

So what’s next?

An exchange of e-mail ids happen, (yes, I am a fool – I give them my e-mail id, worse still, also my phone number) and then the whole thing spirals off.

“Why don’t you keep in touch?”

“Why are you so aloof?”

“Why don’t you share what’s happening in your life?”

“Why don’t you call up?”

And all that cr*p.

I mean, I know we were classmates. I know we spent hours sitting in the same class and playing some dumb games together. But dude, I haven’t seen you or even dreamt about you for, like what, a decade?!

If you chumma pop out of cyber space and expect me to pour my heart out to you and tell you all about what’s happening with me (with the minutest details), well, you are in for a shock. This is not some bl**dy M&B where the heroine falls for a guy she meets after 15 years.

And the next thing I know, I get a phone call.



“Umm... who’s this?”

“Don’t you know who this is?”

Of course I don’t f***ing know! Why else would I ask???



You could be a talking cow for all I care!

“Sorry… I can’t seem to be able to place your voice.”

“See, I knew it. You can’t even remember my voice. You have forgotten me!”

Why don’t you just spit it out, you b**tard! Isn’t this an STD call?

“But who is this?”

I know all I need to do is disconnect the call and put an end to it. But I don’t. *Sigh*.

After around 30 minutes of unnecessary updates on the lives of people I hardly remember meeting (“Remember that aunty behind my house? Her sister’s husband’s sister ran away with the uncle who lived across the street from so-and-so’s house.” Arrgghhh!!!) the time comes for the hanging-up ceremony.




“Ok. Then call me, ok?”


“I called this time no? So next is your turn. Ok?”


“Make sure you call, ok?”

OK dude! I will if there’s anything worthwhile to talk about!

I mean, I know that friends are meant to be kept and not discarded, but what do I call up and tell a guy who doesn’t understand a jack about me and my life?

“Are you working now?”

“Yes. In an Ad Agency.”


“Ad.. Advertising Agency?”

“Oh. So you appear in advertises?!” (With a touch of skepticism)

“No. I am a copywriter.”

“A what?”

“A copywriter?! I write…”

“Oh so you are a writer?”


“You write?”

“Ummm, well, I suppose so!”

“What do you write?”

“Well, ads, I write ads.”


As you might have figured by now, it’s bl**dy frustrating, carrying on a conversation like that.

So I keep quiet and listen to some highly obscure and irrelevant stuff (“I met this cute Buddhist girl who I can’t marry because I am a Muslim, but I’ll try to kiss her tonight.”).

Finally I snap, go to my google talk, block his id, and stop taking his calls. I also remove him from my friends list, in all the places that he has been added.

The next thing I know, my scrap book, wall, inbox and even my phone inbox is full of messages from other “old” friends who ask me why I am ignoring this fellow, and in the process, also breaking his heart.

“Is this how you treat your old friends?”

“How can you be so mean?”

“How can you forget old friends?”

And yes, the line which I mentioned right at the beginning.

I am the villain. I am the small-town girl who’s in the city now and has developed an attitude that prevents her from treating her “friends” right.

I don’t mind, really. Make me the modern day Mata Hari/ Poison Ivy for all I care.

But please, please, please – just leave me alone.

And please quit giving those pesky miss calls in the middle of the night.


  1. Ah... the lost ghosts of lifetimes past. Heh...
    You should learn to be more rude on the phone.

  2. my, the complexities of a firl's life

  3. Are buddhist girls more easily kissed?

    I thought catholic girls had the upper hand on that one.

  4. nice post!!potrayal by words is quite justified!!