Thursday, January 20, 2011

Of wishes and scars.

Have you heard of the phrase, “Be careful what you wish for, it might come true”? Not exactly a phrase that, eh? But yeah, have you?

I recently got solid proof that it is indeed true.

It’s been around 6 months that I'm seeing this person – a really nice person – who, I think, makes a lot of sense. Rather, it makes a lot of sense having him in my life.

When we started off, there wasn’t anyone else, you know, in the picture. He was the only one. Which was good. Because I did not have to choose.

But then, as another famous saying goes, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”. And I wished – oh that accursed word! – I wished I had an option, to choose from, to compare him to, so I would know if I would still choose to be with him. If I had a choice.

And I was given that wish. I got an option. And that’s when my apple cart toppled right over.

As young souls, many of us make this mistake of wishing for options, of dabbling with possibilities of what could have been, and in the process neglecting what we have. In hand.

I don’t really know if that is good or bad. Whether it’s good to be spoilt with options, or to be given just one option which you can either take or leave.

I am reminded of the times when toothpaste was just Colgate. There was no Pepsodent or Close Up or Dabur Lal Dant Manjan to choose from. When bathing soap was just Liril.

When TV meant just one channel – Doordarshan.

Life was a lot more simpler.

My life was a lot more simpler when I had no options. Because what I had was more than enough. But I wished. And I got what I wished for. And now, even though I know what it is that I want, some really nasty scars have been made – some ugly memories – and I know these will haunt me for a really really long time.

I feel like I’ve emerged from a cat fight. With myself. Scratched. Bruised. Injured. While trying to beat the bitch in me.

Cat fight with a bitch. What an irony. Is that irony?

I know what I want. I have it. I always did. But what do I do with the ugly scars?

3 comments:

  1. accept them.
    we were never meant to be perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  2. but what you choose knowing all the other options - thats the best choice :-).

    I wrote something similar too: http://raajii.blogspot.com/2010/11/to-have-it-all.html

    ReplyDelete
  3. @betweenpoles
    :)

    @Raajii
    I remember reading that post. And commenting on it too. :)

    ReplyDelete

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