Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Genus - Love; Species - true; Status - Endangered

I always see some kind of temporariness in all the relationships that I see around me here. No one seems to be willing to stay on for life. No one seems to be willing to make compromises for the one they supposedly love. Something or the other always comes up which challenges the relationship and destroys it too. But why? Isn't hardship and troubled waters supposed to make a relationship stronger and longer lasting? Aren't the weaknesses of the two people in love supposed to make them stronger?

Or perhaps the basis of these easily breakable relationships are wrong in the first place!

I know it is unfair, but I can't help but compare the committedness and the loyalty of couples back home and over here.

There, if relationships begin, efforts are made to keep it going. Nothing is on trial and error basis. And guys do not ask girls out so easily either! A lot of thought goes into the entire process. And yeah, another vital thing I guess. There if the guys come to know that the girl is engaged, she becomes out of bounds. Same in the case of girls who like guys.

But over here, all I see is guys trying to snatch girls from other guys, (same in the case of girls, only, it is much worse!) and a lot of hungama involved in the entire process but ultimately, at the end of a year or sometimes as less as a month, the guy is single again because either

a) the girl ditched him
b) another girl was more interesting

The case is same vice versa as well.

And I always keep wondering why!

I understand I am making general statements here and I am generalising everything. There are always exceptions to every rule and I am not stating the exceptions but only that which is more obvious to my observation.

When I was there, I used to believe in love. I used to see happy couples who get married and remain happy thereafter. And most importantly, they get married to the one they love and NOT somebody else!

But here, a couple has an affair, they go around, watch a lot of movies together, have a lot of fun, and ultimately marry the one their parents choose for them who is not necessarily the one they are so much in love with. They are under the notion that after marriage, life is over and that un-happy and dis-satisfied days lie ahead! And with such negativities within them, they expect magic to happen and expect the marriage to work out by itself.

There was this pretty girl I knew who was all of 22 and ready to get married to the guy her parents had chosen for her. The guy too was good looking and suited her perfectly. He had a good job, was well settled in life and came from a good family. Everything looked so perfect and nice. The picture-perfect wedding for the most pretty girl I have ever met.

And yet, a week before her engagement, she got drunk and sat and cried. She said that her life was now over because she was getting married! And yet, on her engagement day, there she was, with nice make-up on, and a pretty saree and lots of pretty flowers on her hair, pretending to be happy.

Why does marriage and wedded-life have to be so scary? Why does the experience of getting married and starting a new life have to be so traumatic?

And why the pretense? Who is she lying to? Who is she being dishonest with?

Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can't it be just simple and straight? Why can't we stick on to the one we love and have the courage to stand up to the relationship and carry it forward? Why can't we take responsibility for our own actions?

Why can't we love for love and not for the sake of being in love?!

And why can't we be a little honest with ourselves? Won't all confusions end there? Won't all fears end there? And with it, the temporariness of it all?

Perhaps we are looking for something outside. That something which can only be found within. And we are looking for it everywhere except there. And that's why we are so empty and lonely. And that's why everything around is so temporary.

True, nothing lasts forever. But love should. That's the way it was meant to be. But sadly it isn't anymore. Like everything else in this world, we have managed to disfigure love as well.

Love too has become like an endangered species and unless we do something about it, it too will become extinct.


  1. nicely put forward your case

    but your conclusion

    hmmmm - rather harsh

    love will always remain - because whether you believe in it or not, you feel it and long for more of it.

    we all can't be reckless and live our lives like one big fling
    but what we all can do is believe that love will find a way
    to heal
    to hide
    to hurt
    to haunt
    to hound
    to heaven :-)

  2. Maybe believeing is everything. But is believing alone enough?

    Like the good book says, "Faith without actions is dead."

  3. is that rhetorical?
    i think it is ;-D

  4. My views mirrored !
    I really believe in this concept of ' loyalty in love ' as this is the very basis that gets any relationship going :)

    " And why can't we be a little honest with ourselves? " This was the clincher ! I agree :)

    Nice blog.Liked the blog header:)
    Keep writing !


  5. @Vinutha
    Thanks for stopping by! :)