Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Of marriage and marriageable age and other such cr*p

I am not against arranged marriages. Neither am I against girls getting married when they are young. I am only against girls getting pushed into marriage before they are ready for it.

What is the best age for a girl to get married? If you type this on google, there’ll be about 12,200,000 results, none giving any definite answers whatsoever.

My question is, isn’t it a good idea to be prepared for the responsibilities that come along with a married life before actually jumping into it?

A few more questions here: Is it right for parents to pressurise their daughters to get married just because she is turning 22 this year? Is it right for relatives/ siblings to worry about the practicality of life (“only if she gets married by 22 will she have a child by 24, and only then will the child be completely settled and married by the time she retires”), and hence coerce the girl into getting married?

These are practical problems. I agree with the fact that unless a girl marries early enough, there’ll be no stability for the family later on in life. But where is happiness in all of this? Where is the girl’s point of view?

“She is not agreeing to it because she is still immature and doesn’t understand the necessity of it.”

If she is so immature, and young, why get her married at all? Isn’t it better to wait for her to become mature, understand the things that she doesn’t now, see a little more of life, and then let her conclude by herself that marriage is good for her?

Oh but by then it would be too late. She would have turned 30 by then and there would be no one willing to marry her.

I completely agree with the parents’/ siblings’/ relatives’ worry about the young daughter in the house who is still unmarried. I completely understand their point of view.

But I have only one question: Where is happiness for the girl in all of this?

By being unhappy, is she just being immature and not understanding that there is happiness hidden somewhere under all the layers of frustration and angst that she is facing now?

So does that mean that girls are immature beings, who will never understand what’s eventually good for them?

Or are they just too impractical to understand the consequences of their actions?

I am confused. I don’t get it. And no, I am not looking for your opinion. The state of mind that I am in right now, anything you say will only get me more angry and frustrated. Because no matter what you say, nothing will justify pushing a girl into getting married against her wishes just because she is turning 22, to me.

Thank you for listening.

9 comments:

  1. "I am not looking for your opinion"
    :-D he, he, he

    My mum got married when she was 29. This was in 1978...
    My "god-mother" got married when she was 50.
    -v

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  2. haha..loved reading this..
    I know what you mean!

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  3. @v
    I feel strangely comforted by your comment. Thank you!

    @sana
    he he he!

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  4. Pretty rude towards the end. :)
    Try applying Murphy's law :). I completely agree with you - No one should push anyone into anything.

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  5. @Riju
    That's the frustrated me speaking! He he. Glad you agree. :) :) :)

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  6. I guess i owe you one on the tanishq ad thing,i came back here to let you know.
    I just saw the ad in print,and the tag line is
    "jewellery that makes you want to marry"
    though I doubt whether the guy who made the ad was actually thinking along those lines..

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  7. @KD
    Thanks for coming by again! :)

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  8. "
    These are practical problems. I agree with the fact that unless a girl marries early enough, there’ll be no stability for the family later on in life. "

    Disagree on that..
    Stability of a family depends on how well the guy and girl goes. Mentally and physically. They CAN be stable with or without kids.

    But yes, agree to you on the concept. And as to when to get married, its when you find someone who you are comfortable living with. !!
    Be it 20,30,40 or even after that.

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  9. @Survivingbrain

    "And as to when to get married, its when you find someone who you are comfortable living with. !!
    Be it 20,30,40 or even after that."

    Absolutely! :D

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